me, movies and melancholy!

Watched this movie called "Hazaron_Khwahishen_Aisi" yesterday..
it is such an awesome movie.. i kept crying towards the end.. This one was utterly realistic and so depresssing!
Ah! for that matter, I am the queen of crying-while-watching-movies :D I just find anything and everything , very touching and very carry-me-away types! Few share this trait with me.. and those who do.. ah.. I love them!.. :D
My mom is one great accomplice.. but sadly I havent had the chance to watch many movies with her of late..
then there was Neha in BITS.. we used to find even stupid movies like 'mujhse dosti karoge' very languishing... everyone used to make fun of us.. while we would secretly sit in her hostel room and watch the senti dialogues of Hritik Roshan over and over again.. and discuss its emotional value!
Even Shalini was quite a pro in sharing tears while watching movies.. I remember once when both of us were sitting in the TV room, with our dinner plates half full.. eyes stuck on the TV screen... gaping at it with mouth wide open ; not wanting to miss a single emotion... and watching the end sequence of this movie called "If Only".. in which Paul Nicholls dies. I dont think either of us finished our food after that.. We were so deep in melancholy!

The most embarrassing of this was my behaviour during "Veer Zaara". I really acted like one big buffoon, I swear! I had gone to watch this movie with a distant relative of mine(whom I had barely known, and my aunt had raved to him about me .. saying that she is quite a good company.. you guys must meet up in Bangalore... blah blah..!)

So, it was CAT 2005 then.. and we decided to meet after that.. for this dumb movie called Veer Zaara. I was quite comfortable with the title, coz it sounded pretty neutral!
Often I have ended up watching inappropriate movies with people .. I mean, you wouldnt obviously want to watch "Jawani Diwani" with your parents..
But I did!! It was embarrassing. Though my mom kept trying to make a conversation during the movie.. as to what to cook for dinner etc.. We were hence thrown out of the movie hall, coz of repeated complaints by the goons sitting infront of us, who were apparently getting disturbed by non-serious audience.!!! duh!!!
[... Ok, But thats a separate issue, I'll talk about that incident later! :). ]

Hmm.. so back to Veer Zaara. Since I didnt know this chap much, I thought a movie would be the best deal.. coz there will be no scope of talking... But little did I know, that when Veer would meet Zaara after 22 years - it would sweep me too into an emotional turmoil!!! Initially I started sobbing.. but when it started playing -- 'tere liye.. hum hain jiye.. har aansoon piye.." I started weeping like no one's business!
hehe!! this guy turns around to look at me.. and was taken aback to see my state!! He, on the other hand, was so far busy passing comments on the movie alongwith other light-hearted audience.. But when he saw me.. he probably felt a little embarrassed. Haha!! I still remember the look on his face..
I was busy sobbing.. when he whispered to me - "Are you ok? You need something? " and I nodded in denial.
We did not speak a word, after coming out. He looked scared and just told me that he'd call later.. and made me sit in an auto.. (coz I insisted that I was paranoid with bikes and it was ok for me to go on my own.)

Needless to say, I never saw him again. :D

I have often wondered though, why am I like that.
No clue.
I sometimes just feel like a candle - made of wax. Just a lil bit warmth.. and boom!
That day, when Ash's mom was leaving from Bangalore.. She'd been with us for about a week or so... and she just hugged me before she got into the cab. Pretty normal, hmm?
Perhaps not!
Coz when I saw her sitting in the cab.. smiling and waving back.. I could feel the tears in my eyes... I dont know wat I felt.. but it just made me want to cry..
Why? Can someone tell me what was there to get senti about.. :(

Sigh! dont know man! May be thats the way they made me!! never mind!

got less work today.. so going to watch this movie called "Life in a Metro" now.. with Gnr. He is also as jobless as me! :D

(Yeah yeah.. I have carried those tissues with me ;-).. )

so long!! adios!

may-i-help-you in making pasta! :D

yay! yesterday I went Pasta shopping! It was kinda cool.. I was jumping about the whole store.. and bugging all!
The store helpers were wearing shirts which had "May I help you" written at the back, and I found it quite funny.. :D
Some of them had actually NO IDEA whatsoever, as to what their store sold!!

me(to "may-i-help-you") - Hey, excuse me. Would you have sour cream?
may-i-help-you - Yes madam, shhhyoore madam, one minute madam! (the no. of times these people insert "madam" in their sentence, makes me feel like an old school teacher!!duh!)

Then she excitedly jumped out of her seat and started taking confident steps towards one end of the store. I began to follow her, with my huge hand basket, which was getting stuck at every corner, thanks to its extra ordinarily huge size!!
I was finally relieved to have found everything under one roof.. Barely had I opened my mouth to take a sigh of relief.. when I noticed myself standing infront of a huge shelf full of face creams and body lotions! And there she stood, gaping at me with her eyes wide open.. with immense gaeity!
To add insult to injury, I suddenly noticed her index finger pointing at the Garnier Wrinkle cream!! Quite taken aback, I pretended to look at the shelf for a lilttle longer than needed.. and then asked her, if she heard me right. .and that i had mentioned 'sour' cream.. and she nodded her head saying, "Yes Madam.. here is "sore" cream madam! "

"To hell with your Madam!! "-- I thought!
So one of the basic ingredients to make the Marinara was missing..I thought I could look for the cream elsewhewre.. when it struck me, that I hadnt bought Oregano too.
So I moved back to the food area.. and decided to look at things on my own.. thinking, that sooner or later I would find them.. It would save me an agonised mind, atleast!

SO I began looking in the very very elaborate spices section.. I located the weirdest of spices.. I hadnt even heard of!! things like Asafoetida, Bishops Weed, Cassia, Fenugreek and Rosemary -- they had eveything!!! Needless to say, I had gotten all excited by now.. but hard as I tried, I was not able to locate Oregano..

me (thinking) -- Hmm.. Looks like it is alphabetically arranged.. Umm. No no.. see I find cloves before chilly powder...
Ok,.. maybe it is according to popularity! Yeah.. see.. it is salt, chilly powder, cumin seeds .. .. yeah.. yeah... but hey! wait.. I see corainder in that distant corner.. ! No no..its not according to usage..
Hmm.. may be State wise...? Cardomom and pepper are majorly grown in Kerala.. So may be the states are arranged alphabetically.. ufff!!! no! I dotn know.. this is highly complicated!!
Thinking that I might never be able to locate my stuff.. I decided to ask one may-i-help-you around...

me -- hey, could you tell me where can I find Oregano?
may-i-help-you -- Yes madam! Come madam..

I drifted slowly in her direction to be able to get the 2nd thing on my list! She stopped by at a shelf.. turned around and gave me a huge smile - since she had done her job. I waited for her to move, so that i cud take a look at the shelf.. and duh!! what was that!! she had bought me to the 'Organic products' section!!!

Man!! this was too much for me to take.. I was beginning to feel like a birdbrain, who either did not know which store to go shopping for, or had no idea how to pronounce the ingredients...or may be I completely looked like someone from some pattikad who would never try making a pasta!!

My disappointment in the store and in my ability to ever procure all the iingredients, was soaring high! So, I decided to leave after picking up the big box of Real Fruit Juice!! (did i say i am crazy about it!! :)..)

Ah.. so long.. havent you read enuf disasters tht you wanna still hang around here!!!

go go..:( this post is over !

daily happenings :)

halo halo halo!!
i am a lil excited today..for no great reason though!
i have so many things to do.. and so little time!! let me try to put them down, in no order of preference.. i would then do away with those million little post-its all over my room.. :)

1. learn how to make pasta! (very very urgently!)
2. try that fruit pudding recipe which shalini's mom taught me :) yay!
3. read up and refresh and prepare for that conference!!

oh.. didnt i say that I was going to this awesome brainstorming session for my bday!!?! check out - here for details! I was thinking for sometime as to what to do for my b'day! and then I heard Guruji say this --
"Whenever we celebrate something, it is done for a reason in the past. It is gone now.
A celebration is meaningful, when it is done with a purpose. Utsav ko ek uddeshya ke saath manao. Make it a day, when you add some meaning to that celebration by committing yourself to something better for the future! "

I perhaps got my answer.. when I saw this conference notice.. and decided to go for it. :)
yay! :)

time to be quite quiet! :)

so long! :)
had completely forgotten about my blog, when i get this threatening email to start blogging again, else i'd have to face severe consequences..lol! :D
i dont think i'll have many stories to share now... and hence my blog wud make a boring read..But then, i dont think i care! :)

i am in a recluse these days -- err, or so say my friends! lol..
but whatever it is, i must say, that i am realy really happy - with what i have, with what i cudnt have.. and with whatever i am doing or not doing!! :) *hint* *hint* :D

the whole of last week, i was in the AOL ashram.. went for a week long advanced meditation course.. we had a 5 day silence.. :)
cant go on to explain what it meant.. a very personal experience, but it moves!

It was such a retreat!! :) on the 3rd day, i was almost feeling, that except me, the whole nature was talking!! like the trees were talking .. the lake was talking.. like the grass was smiling at me... like the breeze was whispering in my ears.. i cud feel so much vibrations in my whole body..
if silence can give you such bliss.. why do i talk so much.. :)

Like Guruji says, that we open our mouth for just 2 things -- to eat and to talk - and both are useless!! :) how much however we eat.. its all the same after 4-5 hours! and similarly 70% of the things we talk are utter nonsense... half the time we speak just for the heck of it, or to hear answers we already know! (tell-me-i'm-right types!! ..lol..)

so many people are getting married these days, that it almost feels funny! :)
marriage is pretty funny a thing, actually. No?

sigh! so long! rest later!

:)