It was Raksha Bandhan yesterday.. and I was lured into a devious scheme by my folks to come home for the same! Actually, to think about it.. I havent been home for any of these festive occasions for so long now.. nearly 6-7 years.. After finishing school.. I went to pilani.. and then straight to Bangalore.. And neither have I been those 'lets-go-home-every-month' type of a girl.. so all those Holis.. Diwalis.. Dussheras..Rakhis.. janamashtmis... New Years... passed by.. and I stood watching.
This time it was difficult.
Since I have the work-remote option from office, I couldnt even deny on the pretext of work. So I was instructed in strict words by Mom, to book my tickets and come home. In return, I was promised an uninterrupted broadband internet connexion.
Yeah right.
It was a mess. The internet connexion refused to work on the first day, I had a project release the next day, and I had no idea how I was going to explain about my state of no-work !!
It did work later, but the most interesting part of the incident was that I saw myself getting angry. Really really angry! - After a long time :)
I'm trying to put the pictures of the rakhi thing here.. but for some reason, this stupid blogger aint working.. so, I am gonna do this later!
Yeah sure! Its a new life! New, new, new!! And different!! This Delhi thing, as I would call it - was surely a fork in the road :)
I came here with just one small bag.
When I was packing all my stuff back in Bangalore and couriering it home, I had to end up living in a totally empty room for the last two days . Those days were revealing. I had nothing to my name. Suddenly I could feel that, the "I" and the "mine" were dropped. What was it that belonged to me!?
My furniture? Which I bought with utmost affection? It was all sold.
My posters, paintings, books? Those that I've been buying over the years? They found comfort with some friends and the rest preferred to be dumped in a carton box so that they are out of my way for sometime.
My clothes, cosmetics, accessories? Some of them felt really old and so they moved on to become dusting clothes. Some of them found solace with Akshara Foundation.
The idea stayed. What is it that is 'mine' ? What is it that I 'always' have with me? Leave apart everything else, this very body will leave me one day...
As we were driving down for a late night coffee in Delhi, I shared my thought with Kinshuk. And he started telling me a beautiful story...
There was once a king who had four queens. Out of them, the king loved the youngest queen the most. He would really take care of her, pamper her and get her all that she would wish for..
Then there was the third queen, who was very beautiful. And it was this queen that the king would take out for dinner parties and public gatherings, where he could show off his pretty wife.
The second queen, according to the king was the wisest among all, and hence, in the times of distress and trouble, he would seek only her advice. He would even take her opinion in all the important matters.
Lastly it was the eldest queen - whom he would totally ignore all the time and would never even care for her. It was as if, she didnt exist for him.
...the story had a pause at this moment. We were parking the car now. We headed for a beautiful quiet walk through a boulevard strip before we could reach the cafe..
As we walked, he continued with the story...
Now one day, the king fell ill and the doctors declared that he wouldnt survive now. The king sent out orders for the four queens to come and meet him on his death bed.
He then asked the youngest queen, if she would come with him, now when he is dying.. The queen said - "no, i cant come with you. " She walked off.
He turned to the third queen, and asked the same question. The third queen said - " why would i come with you, i'd rather marry someone else". She walked off too.
The king repeated the question to the second queen, who said - "i can accompany you till the grave, but not beyond that".
The dejected king looked at the eldest queen, and asked her the same thing, to which she smiled and said - "ofcourse i will come with you. "
... By this time, we had approached the door of the cafe and had taken a U-turn to take another round of walk..
I was eagerly waiting for Kinshuk to complete the story.. but he seemed to be lost in his own thought. After a while, he looked at me, and asked my interpretation of the story..
"Is it over?" - I chirped.
"Yeah" - came the short and crisp reply.
"Well, I didnt really get the analogy in the story, if any."
To this he replied - "The youngest queen is your body. You take care of it so much, love it.. pamper it. But when you die - it leaves you. The third queen is all your material possessions. You have them for show-off. But they too, will not come with you, when you die. The second queen is your family and friends. You think they are the most important in your life.. but they too dont go with you when you leave this body.. The eldest queen is your Self. Your Soul. It stays with you and it goes with you. And this is the one whom you ignore the most - all your life!
Bring the attention back to yourself - to deep inside of you. Meditate. Know yourself. Know that this body is not yours, this car, this house, this family, friends -- nothing is yours.
.... We never opened the door of the cafe. We headed back home after taking an hour's walk..
So its fun!! I am here in the good ol' Capital! Its nice.. am settling down gradually.. finding my ways in the big city.. I must get a car soon, else I will be dead in the heat of the city even before I'l realise! No, really! Its so hot, I almost feel I shud be walking around with ice cubes on my head! :D
Everything is beginning to move towards perfection. Yeah, almost everything :) Reminds me of this awesome song - ' I hear this life is overrated.. but I hope it gets better as we go'/... :) hehe..
One very noticeable thing which I felt as soon as I woke up to the Delhi reality is - that here everyone begins to talk in Hindi by default !! Not that its a problem for me, given my Hindi roots (as Suraj wud call it! ).. but yeah.. this is something unlike Bangalore :)
Just yesterday, I went in to this really hi-fi showroom..and asked this guy if he would show me the latest airtel connexion schemes.. This chap who was all dressed up in a sophisticated fashion, looked impressive and all..and looked like all British English wud flow from his mouth.. just smiled pleasantly and said - ' haaan haan.. aaiye aaiye.. hamare yahan sab mil jaayega" in the most rustic fashion!! I had nothing to say, but just - 'achha,, dikhaiye'... lol..lol.. :))
Although shifting to a different city is always accompanied with some memories.. regrets.. excitement.. fun.. guilt.. doubts.. etc! But so far its pretty neutral for me! It just looks like it was always meant to be! And I am feeling very natural abt this whole deal..
