And nothing else matters..

 

Friday, March 10, 2006

Just a thought..

Watched '15Park Avenue' last night on Nitin's laptop..Dont know where the Bongs derive all their talent from! A very well made movie - I must say!
And as I lay in my bed..err couch.. (ok, the bed was granted to Nitin on the lines of 'Atithi Devo Bhava' :D).. I started my all time fav job - diggin' old graves n thinking!! :D [I knew what you thot ;)]

[thinking]
Let go! Just let go!
All my life, I hv been clinging on to things.. clinging on to friends.. clinging on to relationships..clinging on to my job.. to security..to the ambition of being an MBA..to all tht 'looks' good! But its all transient.. It will fade away..I always keep wanting more.. Theres no end..
I sometimes think tht my mind is not free.. I hv reservations..I hv desires..
Have I ever tried saying - "I want nothing." ?? Have I ever tried being desireless?
Guruji says, "Desire means the present is not sufficient enough; its not okay the way it is now, this moment. Desire means projection to the next moment. Desire simply means being unaware of the Infinity. Desire simply means you dont know yourself."

I gather, tht its not like I shudnt desire..Desires shud arise..and if they arise, its okay! But hankering to fulfill them, thinking tht when they are fulfilled only then things will happen - "only then I'll be happy" - THAT is an illusion :(

I hv not accepted enough.
[/thinking]

Phone rings.
Who the hell is calling me at 2 in the night! And heck! Its a landline!!

me(almost whispering) - hello..
*silence*
me(slightly raising my voice) - hello??
*silence* Although I could hear a dog barking in the backgrnd..
me(getting impatient) - dude! Its not the best of the times for you to be cracking a joke! whos this??
At this I heard a harsh manly voice clearing his throat..
"Yaaro?? Avalu iddala??" (means Who are you? Is she there? In kannada)
And he was sooo fuckin loud tht I almost thought I'd create a world record by being the only person who had a heart attack due to loud noise!!!

me(smiling to myself) - Wrong number, anna! Good night :)
"Oh! Sorry amma..(after a pause) Good night."

he he...we hung up.. and I took it as a sign to stop thinking and go to sleep! :)
:ZZZzzzz.. :)

bckgrnd - nil (Prit has borrowed ma headfones)
/me - kinda

6 Comments:

Blogger unforgiven said...
Everyone desires. They have to, its a part of being alive. You and me may desire more material things, a saint may desire enlightenment or moksh, an animal may desire just basic food and water.

We have to have desire. It is the basic ingredient that forms life. If desire were to be eliminated from everyone's life, we'd all just lay down and die.


That being said, yes, we do hanker after our desires and will be happy once we attain them. Desiring to not hanker after desires, is a desire in itself. Infact, desiring to be happy in itself, is a desire.


Can't escape it. We will desire and we will do everything we can to fullfill those desires. At best, we can just change what it is we desire, nothing else.
3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I have nothing profound to add, but i feel that u need to always have an aim in life, and that aim more often than not, is linked to something that we desire - Nitin
5:26 PM  
Blogger sp said...
oh....the all-consuming quest to tread down the mba path and seek life's mission in the corporate jungle.
2:08 AM  
Blogger The Infinite said...
@unforgiven
thou are right :)

@nitin
i was tying to identify if my aim and desire were any different..
Aim is usually more profound and meaningful, but a desire cud be whimsical and baseless..lets say a desire of owning a laptop, or a car. An illusion is created in our minds, tht when I'll own tht thing, I'd be happy.. while the truth is, tht this'll never happen..After owning the laptop, I wud desire to own, may be an Apple(not the fruit ofcourse!)
THAT - is meaningless..
Aim is certainly the better half of a desire.. :)
2:13 PM  
Blogger The Infinite said...
@sp
are you talking about yourself? :)
2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
If u look at it, everything is interlinked. U can't say its like this is this and that is that and u can't give up all u desire and have an aim. Its like then that aim is not for self.
1:07 PM  

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Who: The Infinite
When: June 4th, 1982
Where: New Delhi, India
What: Electronics Engineer
Why: For the hell of it

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