some things cant be undone...
truly..
sometimes our own inabilities bog us down.. paralyze us so much.. that we are unable to think straight.
i wasnt able to go for bhavya's marriage. i know how much however i try to justify myself, i cannot ever undo this. i just wasnt in a situation to go!! the kanpur trip followed by the pilani trip blocked all my chances to be even 'thinking' abt a few more leaves at IBM.. plus i was so much scrapped of cash.. that i cudnt even have imagined flying over to kanpur , to attend his wedding.
bhavya is one of those very few people who are very significant to me.. we have been companions for so long now. in school.. in coaching.. in bangalore...we have seen each other go through the ups and downs of life.. we have been together during all the major events.. bhavya was the only one who gave me strength to survive the blow when abhishek passed away..
he is always by my side whenever i need him.. and also when i think i dont need him..
words stand incompetent for the first time.. to abridge wat he means to me.
even until the last moment, i strived to somehow manage and go to kanpur.. but i just cudnt.. i have never felt so appalling before.. that feeling of 'inability' just sucks!!
he has come back from kanpur today. and i cudnt gather enuf courage to give him a call..
is he the same guy.. whom i never hesitated to give a call even at 3 in the night just to help me out with something really silly!!!
is he the same guy who was more happy than me when i got admission in BITS? .. and instead of taking a treat from 'me', took me all over kanpur and treated me.. only coz he was happier!!
is he the same guy.. who wud call up just to tell : "sugandh, u are really a true friend.." and then hang up..?
is he the same guy, with whom i drank my first sip of alcohol... spilled the stuff all over his car.... and when he came to drop me back home.. he involved my mum in a convo, so that she doesnt notice my tumbling steps before i get into my room...
yes.. he is the same guy.. with whom i have shared so much.. who knows abt my dreams.. who is aware of my ambition.. and never wavers to point out my mistakes too!
i have learnt so much from him... that i have no words to delimit it.
.. and today when i called him.. i felt like crying.. i wasnt at peace. i was guilty. i felt terrible.
something was just not right.
neha( his significant other :)) picked up the fone.. he was driving at that time and cudnt recieve the call..
she told me , that how she was teasing bhavya that "look.. ur best friend dint come.. she dint call too".. and bhavya replied " so wat.. she must have been busy"...
i know he understands. but i cant help but feel awful.
its not very difficult for me to be able to handle my feelings all the time.. but this time..its just different. i am incompetent to be able to interpret , the way my heart functions.
my emotions are betraying me. i am feeling bad.
i am sorry bhavya..
sometimes our own inabilities bog us down.. paralyze us so much.. that we are unable to think straight.
i wasnt able to go for bhavya's marriage. i know how much however i try to justify myself, i cannot ever undo this. i just wasnt in a situation to go!! the kanpur trip followed by the pilani trip blocked all my chances to be even 'thinking' abt a few more leaves at IBM.. plus i was so much scrapped of cash.. that i cudnt even have imagined flying over to kanpur , to attend his wedding.
bhavya is one of those very few people who are very significant to me.. we have been companions for so long now. in school.. in coaching.. in bangalore...we have seen each other go through the ups and downs of life.. we have been together during all the major events.. bhavya was the only one who gave me strength to survive the blow when abhishek passed away..
he is always by my side whenever i need him.. and also when i think i dont need him..
words stand incompetent for the first time.. to abridge wat he means to me.
even until the last moment, i strived to somehow manage and go to kanpur.. but i just cudnt.. i have never felt so appalling before.. that feeling of 'inability' just sucks!!
he has come back from kanpur today. and i cudnt gather enuf courage to give him a call..
is he the same guy.. whom i never hesitated to give a call even at 3 in the night just to help me out with something really silly!!!
is he the same guy who was more happy than me when i got admission in BITS? .. and instead of taking a treat from 'me', took me all over kanpur and treated me.. only coz he was happier!!
is he the same guy.. who wud call up just to tell : "sugandh, u are really a true friend.." and then hang up..?
is he the same guy, with whom i drank my first sip of alcohol... spilled the stuff all over his car.... and when he came to drop me back home.. he involved my mum in a convo, so that she doesnt notice my tumbling steps before i get into my room...
yes.. he is the same guy.. with whom i have shared so much.. who knows abt my dreams.. who is aware of my ambition.. and never wavers to point out my mistakes too!
i have learnt so much from him... that i have no words to delimit it.
.. and today when i called him.. i felt like crying.. i wasnt at peace. i was guilty. i felt terrible.
something was just not right.
neha( his significant other :)) picked up the fone.. he was driving at that time and cudnt recieve the call..
she told me , that how she was teasing bhavya that "look.. ur best friend dint come.. she dint call too".. and bhavya replied " so wat.. she must have been busy"...
i know he understands. but i cant help but feel awful.
its not very difficult for me to be able to handle my feelings all the time.. but this time..its just different. i am incompetent to be able to interpret , the way my heart functions.
my emotions are betraying me. i am feeling bad.
i am sorry bhavya..
3 Comments:
:(
take care yaar
:(
:(
u make me sad
:(
:(
Smile and Shine.
aVallark
Nandz.
PS: Dudette, you need therapy!
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